You may or may not know, but my Dad passed away recently. Anyway, here’s my eulogy…

I’d like to start by thanking everyone who has reached out, reminisced, or is here today to celebrate Roger, Rog, Big Rog, Mini Bruit, Little Shit, Uncle Roger, Grandpa, Honey, Roger!, or as I liked to call him… Dad.

Now, if you’ve only known my dad over the last 4 to 6 years I have to apologize because the man you met was but a shadow of the person he once was. And, while he never did anything earth shattering I do want to speak briefly about the 3 things that I believe defined my Dad, and those were: 1) Family, 2) Enjoy Life, and 3) Do everything to the best of your ability… which is where I’ll start.

If there’s one thing you know about my Dad if you’ve ever spent time with him it’s that he demands respect… but at the same time will respect any person regardless of class, race, or background provided they are doing everything to the best of their ability. And while his sayings like “I’ll give you sichaone”, “you and what army”, or anyone or anything on the receiving end of a Roger verbal tirade may question his choice of words, tone, or delivery I believe any of those transgressions were because he expected anyone, including - and maybe most importantly - himself, to do everything to the best of their ability. Taking out the trash - Do it to the best of your ability! Playing against a team that’s supposed to be better than yours? - Do it to the best of your ability! Trying to fix something? - Do it to the best of your ability!

And doing everything to the best of his ability, I believe included enjoying life. You see, losing his mom way earlier than anyone should combined with the death of my brother Scott by suicide, I believe taught him that life is short… Actually, I think something broke inside of him the day Scott died… and as a father myself I can see how that would happen… So enjoy life! Go to Hawaii. Sing your silly songs (“Good morning to you”). Dance. Have a drink… as long as it’s Brandy in that Manhattan - because, “I’m from Wisconsin!”. Vacation. And Golf. So much golf. And while some may think “enjoy life” means doing anything you want, remember the 1st, and main thing I said defined my dad’s life: family. Because you can’t enjoy life without family.

Yes, I believe THE most important thing to my Dad was family. Be it holidays, special events, vacations, or really just about any day he wanted to be with family (and friends). As families grew in size and distance between them, and as cognitive decline began to take root, I know Dad had a hard time understanding why we couldn’t always celebrate Christmas on the 25th, or why we may need to combine birthday parties with trips… because he wanted to be with his family.

Randy, Russ, Jayne, and Barb: thank you for your visits. I know they brought joy to my dad even if he may not have shown it. Randy especially. From sharing your musical talents, to breaking free from vacation, to sharing your “unique” personality in only the way you can… thank you.

Andy, Margie, Jean, and Gary: your willingness to travel long distances and be away from your own families to support my Dad and Mom did not go unnoticed. The 1st of “the outlaws” has ridden off into the sunset.

Mary and Brian: words cannot express all you did. Moving to Cincinnati for that crucial transition. Helping move, coordinate, plan, lend an ear, and more. We are forever in your debt.

Ali, Eli, Madie, Mason, and Logan: know that your grandpa loved you so very much. I know the last few holidays and birthday’s were awkward and not a ton of fun… Well, the Jacobsen family factory was amusing - just remember who grandpa made the boss… But remember that was not the real man your grandpa was. I hope you remember the laughing, dancing, singing, silly grandpa… who still wanted to cleanup the NYE confetti 2 minutes after the celebration ended, and would proudly claim you as “his” grandkid with every success.

Mary and Tim: I hope you know that family extended to you and yours. Dad always loved being with your families as much as he did our immediate family.

Sandy… or should I say Sandra: I can’t thank you enough for being here in Cincinnati. For putting up with that “proud”… vocal… grandpa at all the sporting events. For going to all of the “family nights”. For visiting Dad even when he was non-responsive. For being the amazing, caring, and compassionate sister I am so very proud of… and that Dad was so proud of.

And most of all Mom: I don’t know how you did it these past few years. Hell, maybe even for your entire marriage at times. If there’s one person that is the embodiment of family it is you. Everyday you were at Trustwell. On the few occasions you did travel north for family celebrations I know you worried endlessly. I love you, your entire family loves you, and Dad/Roger loves you… still.

Finally, Dad, I’m glad to have inherited some of your best, and let’s be honest, worst traits. We were so different, and yet so similar. You packed way more life and personality into 5’4” than I’ve ever been able to do at 6’1”. As I was thinking of what to say here today, the cliche of a parent not saying “I love you” came to mind, and yet, there was never any doubt. Like those Alison Kraus lyrics say, “You say it best, when you say nothing at all”. Most of all I am beyond relieved that you are finally free of the ravages of that terrible disease. Thank you most of all for trying to teach me to do everything to the best of my ability. To enjoy life. And to love my family. I love you more than I was or will be able to express with words alone.

Which is what I want to leave all of you with today. Love your family. Thank you for coming, and thank you for being a part of my dad’s life.